Sunday, May 11, 2008

I live with a serial killer

I don't know what to do, I mean, she's family and I love her. You can't turn in the ones you love...can you? And if you do, what will people think of you? Will they think that it took a lot of guts to do it, or will they think that you are selling out your family. I am torn as to what to do. It all started a few days ago. My wife had told me that she saw the first victim in the computer room late at night while on the computer. She discovered it by accident and was genuinely creeped out. She told me that she had to dispose of the body. She didn't know what else to do. I could tell it was very hard on her. And when she showed me where she found the body, I noticed a second victim almost in the exact same place. Panicked, I quickly disposed of that body as well. Now we are accessories and I fear that we must confess or become one of them, a cold sadistic killer, preying on the innocent and helpless. We pondered our options and decided that, just maybe, it wouldn't happen again and we could move on with our lives, clear conscience. That's when the most unthinkable of all unthinkables happened. I was at work when my wife e-mailed me to let me know that our little killer had dragged home a much larger victim. And, she was still alive. Barely, but she was still breathing. She asked what to do, I told her to hide her and give her cover and when I got home, I would try to see if there was a way to save her. Unfortunately when I got home it was too late. She had already passed. There was nothing more we could do. So here I am confessing to all of you that I live with a serial killer and I don't know how to make her stop. Plus I'm getting tired of cleaning all the feathers. Yes, our serial killer is our little Gracie. A small 10 lb grayish female cat who has discovered the art of providing for the family. She is so proud, bringing us her prize...the birds of the neighborhood. We are still torn, do we turn her in to conservation? I can't afford bail money for a cat. I know this is the natural progression in the circle of life...but does she have to bring them in the house? She brings them in through the doggy-door, plus, it doesn't help that our dogs will sit there and watch her do it with dumb looks on their faces when, at any other time, they'd be chasing her out the door. I give up, Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to stop? That is, of course, without overfeeding her and making her fat and lazy.
And to all the birds in the neighborhood, beware, you could be next, stay in your home and lock your perch.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot help myself; it's in my nature. As soon as I leave the house, the hunt begins even though I know I'm not supposed to. I choose random victims, sneaking up on them, beating them at their own game, and I do it all for my family. I have to show them how good I am at getting my prey, so they can be proud of me, so they will allow me to stay in their home and give me the love I crave. I don't understand when they are upset with me, not proud of me like they should be. After all, my job is to be a good hunter and bring my kills home to them. It's what I live for. And so the hunt begins again....... Gracie

8:51 AM  

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Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!
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