Monday, March 19, 2007

Tragic Woman

Here's one of my latest songs that I've been working on. It kind of has a Pink Floyd flow musically but I am not sure exactly what to use for a chorus. This song is kind of creepy and actually happened to a friend of mine while he was sitting on a park bench with the love of his life.

Saw your twilight eyes
Glisten from the stars at night
And your golden hair
Reflecting beams of moonlight

Didn't see the tears
Didn't hear your silent screams of pain
Didn't see the knife
As you cut into your vein

Thought we were as one
I gave my heart and soul to you
Of all the things we shared
You kept from me the truth

Now with crimson eyes
I watch you slowly fade away
You can have my heart
Please return my soul to me

Any suggestions and/or critiques will be appreciated.

1 Comments:

Anonymous ~L said...

its good but maybe im warped, it sounds kinda "teenage angst" to me. of course thats all i thought about as a teen. my initial reaction to the song was not morbid romance but "YOU BITCH!" ok now im confused... too many emotions crashing into eachother.

9:23 PM  

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Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!
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