Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Being a kid

08/09/06 I think I've always wanted to be a rock star. Even when I was little, around 4 years old, I remember riding in circles in the garage on my trike singing Beatles songs. They were huge back then. Bigger than Jesus is what they were saying. The Beatles had shorter hair than Jesus did tho but people were still complaining about it. I mean, afterall, they looked like girls. Whatever, they were cool. They were on Ed Sullivan, that meant that they had to be huge. Well, times changed and I ended up playing Little League baseball and put my dreams on hold. I was the skinny kid that played okay, I mean I could catch and throw but could never hit the long ball. I wasn't ever the last to be picked for a local neighborhood game nor was I ever the first. Just an average Joe I guess you would say. But that wasn't important to me as much as just having fun. Even that was tough sometimes because you would always have the jocks yelling at you because you made an out, knowingly that everyone has made an out at one point or another, but surely it was totally my fault we didn't get 42 runs in that inning. Just once I'd love to hit that line drive into their jewels just to see their eyes bulge and maybe run home crying. I should be so lucky. I guess it's evil to think that way but at the same token, it sure is nice to dream. Dreams. I think I was 8 when the recurring dreams started. It wasn't about baseball or anything like that tho. I remember running down a tunnel that had train tracks in it. Running for my life actually. People were shooting at me but I didn't know why. I kept running as fast as I could. I had this dream off and on for about 3 years. One night I didn't wake up in the usual running toward the end of the tracks that I usually did. This time I actually got to the end of the tracks and saw a transient laying there at the end of the tracks. He was being shot by the people I thought were shooting at me. That's when I realized that they weren't shooting at me. How awesome is that? I 'm not going to die. Sweet! Not for the guy laying at the end of the tracks tho, but sweet nonetheless. I never had the dream again. But then I'm getting ahead of myself so I digress back to when I was 6 with a fever. I was forced by the doctor to take these pills that would make a horse choke. They were huge and pink and probably the nastiest tasting things I'd ever had in my 6 years on this planet. I knew I needed them tho'. Afterall, when I was laying in bed, I remember seeing my brothers monster models, models of Dracula and Frankenstein, chasing each other on top of the dresser. I was sure that they were alive. I was just glad they weren't chasing me. Anyway, back to the story. The giant horse choking pills eventually made me well enough to go back to school so I could embarrass myself once more by vomiting on everyone waiting in line to go to class only to be sent home again with a note saying not to come back until my mom was sure I was well again. After a couple days, I had made my way back to school, now with a few, not so much enemies, but friends that were more likely to tease me for a few weeks. Life really sucked. I remember the first day back tho like it was yesterday. I still wasn't feeling 100 percent and was slow getting my boots on for recess and the 1st grade teacher thought I was taking too long and actually broke a pointer stick over my back telling me to hurry up. I had never seen my mom so pissed as I did when I got home. Surprisingly, she wasn't mad at me, she went to the school and reamed my teacher a new one. "Go Mom". Life was good. Well I guess that's about all I have for today.
You Are 87% Grown Up, 13% Kid
Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!
How Emotionally Mature Are You?