Friday, March 30, 2007

Naval Discourse

I joined the Navy when I was 17, way before I was mature enough to handle it but there I was. While I was in, there are a few things I did, that I can now admit to anyway, that were pretty stupid. One of the first things I did that wasn't the brightest was when I was in training school. I was an "MS" (Mess Management Specialist) or simply...a cook. They sent me to cooking school in San Diego off Rosecrans blvd. I was 17, didn't know anybody, in completely unfamiliar surroundings and needed to make friends fast. If you read one of my earlier posts, you'd know that, on occasion, I had acquired the talent of spitting fire out of my mouth like the bass player for Kiss. Even tho' I had previously burned my face to a 2ND degree, I felt that I had learned my lesson and would, in no way, burn my face again. I thought of this as a way to break the ice with my new room mates. Actually, they were pretty intrigued when I told them that I could spit fire and wanted a demonstration. I, of course, quickly obliged as I was in need of friends. I had never tried this in a closed space before and told everyone to stand behind me for safety. So, as I was impressing my new friends with the immense ball of flames, I suddenly realized, as the pressure from the flames forced the door closed and the lighter fluid that I had spit was spraying tiny flames onto our mattresses, that I should have probably had a fire extinguisher nearby. I also realized that the fire I started was also between us and our only way out. Fortunately, we were able to put the flames out with the use of a blanket off one of the other beds before they grew into anything serious. Even tho we all briefly feared for our lives, they thought it was pretty cool and I, from that point on, was considered a little nuts but okay.

Later in my naval career of 4 years, I was transferred to a destroyer that was already deployed to the Mediterranean. I caught up with the ship in Toulon France. This was my first time on a ship so things were quite different than what I was used to. My first day on board, we had been serving fried chicken and fries. After the meal I was cleaning the fryer and was told specifically which drain to pour the used grease into. The guy who had told me where to dump the grease, however, was fairly new on the ship as well and the drain he told me about was the one to use when out to sea. It was only an hour later when the Master Chief came up to me with this look on his face as if he was ready to kill but was forcing himself to be calm because I was new on board. I could actually see the conflict in his eyes. I knew I had done something wrong but had no idea what it was. He carefully explained to me that the grease I poured down the drain was, now, floating next to the pier on top of the water in a foreign port and the French weren't happy. What I wanted to say was "If you look at them like you're looking at me, they'll just run away and we'll be good." But instead I asked what he wanted me to do about it. So basically to make a short story long, the person who told me where to dump the grease and I, spent the next 6 hours, with nets, scraping the grease off the top of the water. Hence, after the laughter died down from my shipmates, we were awarded "The Scum Skimmer Award" from King Neptunes Rex.

Then there's the time, in Barcelona, when a shipmate tried to smuggle 7 keys of hash on board so we could make brownies. And the time when a shipmate jumped overboard in the Caribbeans because we were playing war games and not going to pull into port. He did this twice. They ended up handcuffing him to the ship until we were far enough out in the ocean that if he wanted to jump, he would be shark food, but i digress....


Saturday, March 24, 2007

Hope he didn't have beans for dinner

Hockey is my favorite sport and playoffs are just around the corner. YAY!!! Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a huge Red Wings fan. This year is turning out to be one of the more exciting seasons we've had in awhile. People sooo under-rated at the beginning of the season with the loss of Shanny and Stevie Y. I, myself, wasn't too worried. I had faith that other players would step up and, guess what, they did. Took them a little while tho'.

Anyways, I won't go on about how great the Red Wings are. That could take a while to do. The purpose of this particular entry is to complain about media coverage of hockey. They say people just aren't into hockey as much as other sports. Well that may be true to a point but I also believe that they have a lot to do with it. For example: Just about anytime I go to Sports Illustrated online, there is rarely any top story involving hockey. Baseball and Football, even womens soccer, which at the time were/are currently in their off-season, are still getting more coverage than hockey. They rarely cover it on the front page until it's Stanley Cup time. ESPN won't cover any games, and the list goes on and on. Yes, I have my hockey websites bookmarked but that's not the point. If they want the sport to bring in more revenue, they have to give better coverage.

By comparison...IMO, Hockey players skate on average a speed of 30 mph and get rammed into walls, hit in the face with sticks, hit with pucks travelling up to 100 mph, go to the locker room and get sticthed up and return to the game.
Baseball players...on average get paid twice as much as hockey players, spend most of their time standing in the field, picking their jockstrap while wondering if the ball is going to be hit to them so they can fall down and make an easy play look like some spectacular highlight so they can ask for another million in their next contract. Don't get me wrong, I used to like baseball before it became all about the money. Of course all sports are all about the money but at the same time, I've never had to pay for an autograph from a hockey player, never had to pay admission to an autograph signing, may have to bring in a can of food or a toy for a less fortunate child but never had to pay an actual player. I just gets me irate when someone who makes more money than most us would in a lifetime, would take more money from us less fortunate, financially that is, It's not giving back to the fans if they have to pay for it.

K that was my rant for the day.


Monday, March 19, 2007

Tragic Woman

Here's one of my latest songs that I've been working on. It kind of has a Pink Floyd flow musically but I am not sure exactly what to use for a chorus. This song is kind of creepy and actually happened to a friend of mine while he was sitting on a park bench with the love of his life.

Saw your twilight eyes
Glisten from the stars at night
And your golden hair
Reflecting beams of moonlight

Didn't see the tears
Didn't hear your silent screams of pain
Didn't see the knife
As you cut into your vein

Thought we were as one
I gave my heart and soul to you
Of all the things we shared
You kept from me the truth

Now with crimson eyes
I watch you slowly fade away
You can have my heart
Please return my soul to me

Any suggestions and/or critiques will be appreciated.

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Hi I'm looking for suggestion on how to answer my phone when the annoying telemarketer or bill collector calls. I have caller ID so in reality I don't need to answer the phone. If there were some creative ways to annoy them back, I'm all for it. I have a few ideas but always looking for more.

You: Bueno(bway-no). 9 times out of 10, they will usually hang up. If someone answers back speaking spanish, just reply "no speak Espaniol" and hang up. This usually confuses them for a day or so.
TM: Is so and so home? You: WHAT!!! He's not with you, oh that little ba@#$rd is in sooo much trouble when he gets home...then hang up.
Just repeat hello over and over until they hang up.
TM: Is so and so home? You: Yes, hold please... set the phone down and don't return until you hear the disconnected beep.

Ok, I know this post is lame but I only got an hour of sleep last night.

Oh you guys have to check out this site and enter the contest. Saturday Comeback Challenge

Friday, March 02, 2007

The Inhuman Family

I used to have 20 pets but my fish died so we are down to 2 dogs and 2 cats.
Here is Gandalf. Border Collie/Collie mix. I think he got more of the collie in his mix. We were told he would get between 40 and 60 lbs full grown. He currently weighs 97. He is one of the biggest lap dogs I've ever known. If any of our other pets seek any sort of attention, he will drape himself over my lap and try to keep me from any inter-action with the others. He does have a ferocious bark, only until you get to know him tho. Then you won't be able to get him off you. He's a bit needy.

This is Lady(Arwen). She is a Border-collie/Lab. She is queen of the roost but very timid around us humans. We rescued both of our dogs from the shelter and we think she may have been abused before we got her. She is very sweet and gentle and would be a lap dog as well if it wasn't for the moose(above) beating her to it. She was our first pet and we ended up getting Gandalf as a puppy so she would have someone to play with while we were at work. He has grown to twice her size but she is still in charge. Go figure. They definately are best of friends. I think our neighbors think we have demon dogs from some of the growling sounds they make outside when they play.

This is Sox, soccerball for short. He could pretty much care less about anything that goes on around the house. As long as the food is there and he has a place to leave his hairball deposits, he's good. He is probably the only cat I've known that will only eat his cat food. He doesn't do scraps or kitten treats like pounce or whatever. Just cat food. Maybe a little chicken or fish but not much of that either. Catnip, on the other hand....

We have one other picture yet. Her name is Gracie. Should be schitzo. She's quite wierd. She drools alot and is not at all intimidated by the dogs. We'll catch them playing until they notice that we see them then they scatter. Gracie also likes to lick your arms. Annoys the heck out of me.

that's the inhumans that live in our house unless you count the spiders in the crawl space.
So who lives at your house?

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You Are 87% Grown Up, 13% Kid
Your emotional maturity is fully developed, and you have an excellent grasp on your emotions. In fact, you are so emotionally mature - you should consider being a therapist!
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